Friday, August 27, 2004

Life's Checklist

Tightly Wound writes a hilarious post about Life's Checklist, covering some of society's old expectations of what lifestyles we should have:
"Life's Checklist was the litany of questions that carefree swingin' twenty-somethings received from elders and later from the already marrieds among their social sets. The questions were well-meaning small talk, but they always had the effect of making the questionee feel somewhat pressured, even if the questionee was generally well-adjusted and pleased with her life's course."
Read the whole post for a great laugh recalling every awkward conversation you've had at weddings with people you barely know. Why this overwhelming urge to pressure childless couples into having kids, single people into marrying and independent workers (contracts, consulting, entrepreneurs) into "real jobs"?

2 comments:

tfoxfan said...

Oh, that reminds me, I have another baby shower to attend this weekend. Note to self: Hitch a ride with someone and drink heavily before I leave the house.

You're right, I do have a lot to say about this one...
What is it about meeting up with people that dictates this line of questioning? Are people just so bored with themselves that they can't think of intelligent questions? I know "marriage and kids" is something that a lot of people value, but surely there are other conversations to be had (other than weather too please).

I've made a point not to ask "What do you do?" I really don't care. If it comes up, that is different, I'll roll with it. I make the point to be specific. But, I gotta tell you, it's way harder than saying the usual schtick.

Jeremy said...

Esther, you asked: "Are people just so bored with themselves that they can't think of intelligent questions? I know 'marriage and kids' is something that a lot of people value, but surely there are other conversations to be had..."

I think you may have stumbled into a good potential answer to the question I ended the post with, although I don't think it's because entirely because people are bored with themselves. A good conversation is usually built on curiosity and some sense of shared experience or perspective. At weddings and other events where people are thrown together artificially, people tend to talk (and ask) about what they know about, which for many people is kids (or marriage, especially at a wedding)...and many older people still think that may be safe ground for shared experience because it would have been for their generation a quarter- or half-century before.

They know enough to understand that they won't have anything else in common with you to talk about, so they're aiming for the easy stuff...but it just isn't appropriate or interesting to most 20-somethings these days. Of course when they find out you're in school, that will enable an enlightening 30-second exchange about how education is very important.