Thursday, December 01, 2005

More Parenting Lifestyle

One of the most intense arenas for lifestyle decisions and integration comes for working couples (who wouldn't be working?) who are having kids. I've touched on it occasionally, but only in a flippant way, which is kind of bizarre considering it's what I'm living right now. Anyway, Gwen sent me into a maelstrom of discussion this morning, mostly from the perspective of moms who are either working outside the home or mostly staying at home raising kids. I started by reading the initial link she sent: My Radical Married Feminist Manifesto, which has an incredible 242 comments, the best of which were penned by an incisive Vancouver mom who had also written her own excellent post bouncing off the original one. A quote from one of her comments really rang true for me:
"If you don't value what society values - success in the monetary - and you're not feeling like your career is fulfilling, then stay-at-home work feels great. Museums on weekdays! Afternoons in the park! Playing with cooking! It is true that in the domestic life, work is never done. I set boundries and routines for myself to cope with that.

HOWEVER. I know this is me, this is now, this is my preferences and lifetime. I also know that it would *Piss Me Off* if anyone tried to tell me I couldn't be a Software Engineer due to my gender. I'm good at my job -although obviously it's not working for me long term.

Here's the reality, though: I won't ever put in a 60 hour week. Even if I got my bliss job and was making $80,000/year as a pundit, I wouldn't put in a 60 hour week. I wouldn't travel away from my family for weeks and weeks every year. So I feel like there's not a lot of room for me anywhere of importance in society because I'm not out there enough to be important."

No comments: